Flying with an Infant and a Toddler - Tips and Tricks
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Flying with Babies is Difficult
Let's not pretend that flying with a little one is easy… It's not. But it’s definitely doable. Before our son was 1 year old, he had already traveled on over a dozen flights:
Cape Town to Johannesburg - age 2 ½ weeks
Johannesburg to Hong Kong - age 2 ½ weeks
Hong Kong to Bangkok - age 2 ½ weeks
Bangkok to Chiang Mai - age 2 months
Chiang Mai to Bangkok - age 2 months
Bangkok to Kuala Lumpur - age 2 ½ months
Kuala Lumpur to Johor Bahru - age 2 ½ months
Singapore to Bali - age 4 ½ months
Bali to Brisbane - age 5 ½ months
Brisbane to Fiji - age 5 ½ months
Fiji to Sydney - age 7 ½ months
Sydney to Auckland - age 9 ½ months
Auckland to Queenstown - age 10 ¾ months
It can be done, and it doesn't have to be impossible with a newborn or an infant.
Flying with an Infant
Our original article, Flying with a Newborn Baby, continues to receive a lot of viewers. Additionally, the information that it covers is updated regularly, so we recommend reading that article if you are ONLY flying with an infant.
Flying with a Toddler
Just after our son's first birthday, he took 3 more flights:
Auckland to Brisbane - age 12 ¼ months
Brisbane to Singapore - age 12 ¼ months
Singapore to Penang - age 12 ¼ months
The flight to Brisbane was 3 hours and 40 minutes, but we didn’t have any issues with our toddler as he was awake and interested in the flight. After our other flights with him, we figured we were already experts. Although, based on Auckland time, our arrival felt like it was about 8:10 PM - and we were going to have to find a place for our son to rest soon.
The layover in Brisbane was 9 hours and 35 minutes long and the next flight didn’t leave until - based on Auckland time - 5:45 AM, so we did have a bit of an issue at the Brisbane airport. The main issue was because we had to look all over the airport for a good place to lay down and rest - and every place was well lit. Our son needs it to be dark to fall asleep, so we eventually ended up walking him around in a carrier (with the hood on) until he got sleepy enough to lay down. Once we had him down we needed to cover his eyes with a blanket (leaving his mouth and nose exposed so he could breathe) in order for him to remain asleep. This whole process did take a couple of hours to figure out.
Picking him up and getting him to continue sleeping on the next flight wasn’t an issue. He did eventually wake up as it was a 7 hour 25 minute flight, but using the tricks we discussed in the “Flying with a Newborn Baby” article, he was well appeased and happy to enjoy the flight and look around a bit. We arrived at about 1:10 PM Auckland time.
There was also a 7 hour layover in Singapore, but we were lucky that the lounge our Priority Pass got us into had a private room that had bench like seats. As our son was ready for a nap around that time, we were also lucky that we were allowed to turn the lights off in there. Our son slept quite well without any major issues. Additionally, there were private showers available in the lounge so we were able to wash up and be refreshed.
The last flight was at 8:10 PM Auckland time, but only 1 hour 25 minutes long. Our son was well rested and happy for his final flight. We arrived at what felt like about 9:35 PM Auckland time and made our way to our Airbnb. We were all quite tired from the 29 hour 5 minute trip, so we went straight to bed.
It should be noted that we didn’t originally book a 29 hour 5 minute flight. Our booked flight had 2 layovers that were 1 hour 10 minutes and 3 hours 5 minutes long, a total of 4 hours 15 minutes - significantly different than the final 16 hours 35 minutes that we ended up with. We went through the Chase portal and they ended up changing our flight multiple times before they gave us 3 final choices to opt from, and this was the least worst of those choices. While we likely could have got our points back, there simply weren't any options available anymore for anywhere near the price we paid originally. Flying on points, with kids, is not always a great option as you really don’t have as much luxury to choose new flights of your liking at the last minute. Had it not been changed, our flight would have only been 16 hours 45 minutes long!
Coronavirus Alters our Plans
After that, we got caught up in the Coronavirus Pandemic Lockdown and ended up staying in Malaysia for 14 months. Then we had another baby while we were there. You can read about those adventures here, if you'd like:
But this story isn't about flying with an infant OR a toddler. It's about flying with an infant AND a toddler, at the same time.
Flying with an Infant AND a Toddler
Our Primary Recommendations:
Choose a Daytime Flight, no longer than your toddler's “awake” hours.
Break up longer flights using long layovers.
Our Personal Experience
Our daughter was just under 5 months old before we would attempt our flight onward - as Malaysia was no longer allowing us to stay.
Being exhausted from simply being a parent to an infant and a toddler is something many people can relate to, but during a pandemic in a foreign country it's a bit more difficult. We were waiting on Malaysia to open up covid vaccines to people in our age group, so we still didn't have them yet.
Combine that with being in a foreign country for over a year while on a 90 day visa - having to wait to hear if the country is willing to allow you to stay for an additional 90 days each and every 3 month period. They extended 3+ times already, so when they didn't extend the last time, it came as a bit of a surprise and caught us off guard. We had to plan our exit quickly, so this guide helped us do that fairly well.
The main things that we considered were:
What places were open to us,
of those: what could we afford,
of those: which weren't terrible with Covid-19,
and of those: which places weren't requiring a PCR test for 2 year olds*
While we were aware that most western countries had easier tests for children, Malaysia did not. The tests were the long stem brain stabs through the nose plus the deep throat swab, and we heard nightmares from other parents who did it. We heard zero success stories - everyone who had tried to find another option was unsuccessful. So, we decided to avoid it entirely.
Why we picked Turkey
The USA was requiring the PCR test for 2 year olds. Thailand had an incredibly expensive hotel quarantine, plus an expensive - but necessary - longer term visa requirement. Most other countries were closed off or had awful coronavirus outbreaks. Some options in Africa seemed good, like Kenya and Tanzania, but the tests per million number was very low - meaning their numbers were likely low because they simply weren't testing for it.
Turkey seemed to have a high number of cases at first as well, but they have a fairly large population. The active cases per million, and new cases per million were actually fairly small. They required PCR tests for anyone over 5 years old and they were affordable. So, we picked Turkey and found an amazing place on the Black Sea that was away from everything so we could stay safe.
Our Flight
We booked a 24 hour flight that left at 9:05 PM and had 2 layovers… with an infant AND a toddler.
We bought that ticket because it was about five hundred dollars less than the one with only one layover and about 8 hours quicker. We regret that decision, personally - but, had we done that, then we'd likely not have written this article.
The two primary considerations that we'll be discussing in this article revolve around flight time and flight length. Sure, there are a few other considerations, and we've listed them in our other article, but these ones are key to your own sanity - and without them you may find that you were in a war that you never expected, and you may never want to travel again because it certainly wasn't a relaxing experience.
We basically lived on these seats for a few hours during Our layover in Qatar.
The Flight Time
We picked the flight time of 9:05 PM because we figured the kids would be tired (we were correct) and that they'd likely just fall asleep (we were incorrect). I'm not sure about your children, but for our 2 year old son, the article “How Letting Your Kids Stay Up Late Could Wreck Your Life” comes to mind.
Imagine a scenario where your child requires their little nest to fall asleep. Perhaps they need a comforting space that they are familiar with before they can pass out, or some alone time.
Our son requires 2 specific blankets, the one we thought would be his little travel size “blankie” and the quilt that was just supposed to be for his actual bed. He needs them both. Additionally, he requires it to be dark in the room if it's night time, but he's usually fine during the day to nap even if it's bright outside - as long as we aren't present (or he'll usually fight his tiredness indefinitely).
As a 5 month old, our daughter was not too particular about blankets. But she was starting to rely on her pacifier more to fall asleep. She had also got used to falling asleep in the crib on her own at our Airbnb in Kuala Lumpur, so it was more challenging on us in the airplane when she decided she wouldn't sleep unless she was held and rocked.
You know your kids, so you know how they might act… Just do yourself a favor and REALLY think it through. If you aren't sure, try getting them to fall asleep in a few different rooms of the house before choosing your flight time.
Surprise them with a dim light instead of turning the lights completely off. Force every sleeping position into a sitting situation, reclined or upright. Walk in with a tray of metal items clinking together a few times during the night. Use the intercom a few times (or, if you don't have your own airplane to practice in, just do your best to recreate the environment of the airplane).
Some infants or toddlers will be fine with anything. Our baby daughter fought her sleep. Our son didn't seem to fall asleep at all.
This photo, of fishing boats at night, was taken over the Arabian Sea, just off the western coast of India.
It is unusual for our son to be so tired that he actually wants to go to bed. A little past midnight, we could tell that he really wanted to sleep.
At home, we could even preemptively declare the battle to be over - victory is afoot!
On the airplane, our son thought we had just initiated a fresh war upon him - as the conditions in the airplane were unsuitable to allow him to sleep.
Our daughter was a bit easier to take care of, but instead of being a good sleeper like she normally was, she decided to stay awake for most of the flight unless she was held and rocked. Between her waking up on her own, and having to take her out when there was turbulence, the bassinet ended up being useless. The baby carrier made holding her easier, but it was a struggle to stay awake for so long. (Fun fact: I’m wearing our baby in the carrier right now while writing this!)
When traveling with JUST an infant and two parents, you can take turns holding your baby and sleeping or eating. NOT the case when you have two littles. Of course you’ll want to hope for the best, but definitely be prepared for worst-case scenarios of sleep deprivation and meltdowns from everyone, the adults and the kids.
“Their assault wasn't unlike a war, and I know because I was in one. The barrage, mostly from our son, continued throughout the night. Sirens going off between him and our daughter what seemed like every few minutes, and my own tired self on constant alert for the next attack.” -Bradley
My Fitbit stated that it took me 4 hours and 41 minutes to fall asleep, and that my sleep period didn't begin until 2:24 AM. It shows my sleep time ending at 8:45 AM, but registered just 55 minutes of sleep in that 6 hour 21 minute period. The next time I was able to get to bed wasn't until 8:15 PM, nearly 12 hours later. It wasn't unlike war.
TIP 1: Choose a day time flight, when your toddler is generally awake and happy.
The photo might be blurry, but it is an accurate representation of how we felt.
Our Flight Duration & Layovers
As mentioned, we left Kuala Lumpur at 9:05 PM. From there, we had 2 layovers on our way to Trabzon, Turkey. We arrived 24 hours and 15 minutes after we left - not including the time to get to the airport, check in, go through security, and wait at our gate OR the time transferring to the international terminal upon arrival at our destination, waiting for our luggage, or the taxi drive to our destination. Again, the first flight started at 9:05 PM (bed time).
Our First Layover
As mentioned above, my sleep time didn't start until 2:24 AM. Our arrival in Qatar occured at 4:15 AM. Our kids were both very “hangry” and very “slangry” - the best mix if you want to torture yourself. The two and a half hour layover was enough time to debark the plane, change our kids’ nappies, find a little bit of food, and make it to our next departure gate all while feeling like absolute zombies.
We didn't realize at that point how good we had it.
Our next flight was 4 hours long, perfect for a quick sleep - but idealism and wishful thinking don't always amount to reality. We didn't get any sleep. Our arrival in Istanbul was at 5:55 AM local time, and the sun was already shining through the windows. We stopped quickly to withdraw some local currency and get a SIM card for our phone - but that was too long for our son, who decided to have an epic meltdown. Thankfully the airport wasn’t very busy due to the pandemic, and we received a few sympathetic faces.
The spot we tried to lay down and rest at in the Istanbul lounge (Istanbul “SAW” airport)
We made our way to the airport lounge. Our son got a second wind and became hyper and our baby daughter had had enough. Both of us parents were so tired that we were literally dizzy. We laid down on a bench in the lounge as our son ran around, jumped up on us, and poked us in the face. This layover was almost 9 hours long. We really should have left the airport and got a hotel, but it was unlikely that we would have woken up in time for our last flight. It was just enough time to almost be able to get a break.
Don't make these mistakes. You'll end up hating travel. We had been traveling for over 3 years - without having returned home - at this point, so we were already fairly seasoned travelers. We were new to the toddler + infant combo and we nearly quit right there and then.
TIP 2: If it's a long haul flight, longer than your toddler usually stays awake, consider a layover that lasts at least 12 hours - with a hotel in the airport - to allow for everyone to rest and recharge.
Carrying a backpack as your carry on, a small child, a suitcase, and a car seat - for each parent - is not the way to go.
Luggage & Carry-on’s
We each had a child strapped onto us, and a backpack on our backs. In one hand, a car seat for the child we were carrying, in the other, a handle for a full sized suitcase. Attached to the handle of one of the the suitcases, a baby bag. Attached to the other, a small collapsible luggage wagon. Do yourself a favor and really try to imagine that, because it could be you on your next vacation if you don't.
We located an airport trolley as soon as we could. Then we got a second one. We wheeled them to the check in counter and checked the two large suitcases, and as our infant was a “lap infant”, we had to check one of the car seats as well. We kept the rest.
As we walked away:
We were each still carrying a child.
The 2 backpacks and one car seat were stacked on the small collapsible luggage wagon and secured with the single bungee cord that came with it.
Jenny was wearing the baby bag.
It wasn't super terrible, but if we ran into anything with the luggage wagon then the bags would fall off. You see, there is just no excellent way to stack two backpacks and a baby seat on a small platform and secure them well with one bungee cord. They fell off a couple of times.
Anyway, it has to be taken apart again at security. It's a tedious process and it takes awhile. Everyone else was waiting impatiently behind us.
“What's in that bag?” said security.
We hadn't taken it apart quite enough. Try again! Okay, now put it back together… Another full 5 minutes while everyone is trying to dodge all of our bags and trays.
Note from Jenny: “As Bradley was taking care of getting the bags through security, I had to get the kids through the metal detectors. Thankfully I was able to continue wearing our daughter, but our son was walking until that point. Of course he decided about 10 feet from the security area that he was done and laid down on the ground. He would scream if we tried to move him.”
Finally moving again, but I needed a break. So we sat down and relaxed with a Starbucks frap for a few minutes. It's almost boarding time, let's get moving. The wagon falls apart again. Our son wants to get down and walk again.
We get it together, and walk slowly to the gate while holding our son's hand. Time to board, so we have to take the wagon apart again.
At this point:
Jenny is carrying the baby on her front.
Her backpack is on her back again.
In one hand, the baby bag,
in the other, the folded luggage wagon.
She tries to squeeze through the aisle to our seats.
Bradley follows:
a toddler again attached to his front,
a backpack on his back.
The car seat… it's either on the side making him extra wide or above his head.
Our son, trying to play with daddy’s face, putting his sunglasses on and taking them off - on and off.
We make it to our seats, and our things are everywhere. What do we need by us? What can I put in the overhead? People are pushing past. We are dodging into the seats. Our bags are using all of our seats, and we have to secure the car seat.
The flight attendants, “Do you need help with that?”
Yes - that would be nice, thank you! They can't figure it out, so just more chaos and we end up doing it anyway. After take off, our son doesn't want to use it anymore and is screaming at us.
We had 2 layovers, so it was on and off 3 planes like this.
“If this is what it's going to be like,” I think out loud, “then I'm going to quit traveling! Let's find a solution…”
Our Solution
We now carry 2 kids (can't do anything about that) and a single 21 kg carry on sized luggage with quality wheels.
Everything else has been reduced or checked at the check in counter, including both car seats.
How that is possible
Most airlines aren't allowing carry on luggage over 6-8kg, so we have to use a little ingenuity. Maybe even NASA level ingenuity.
Our carry on sized luggage is part 1 of 3. It does weigh a couple kg on its own, and carries:
our laptops, easily accessible,
a few other airplane essentials that are lighter in weight and easily accessible while on the airplane,
two smaller bags that fit inside the luggage,
and nothing else.
The luggage with the laptops and the few items weighs about 6-7kg without the other two bags. We recommend using the Samsonite Ascella X because it has the pockets in the front that you can put your laptops and airplane essentials into. Additionally it has four high quality wheels and a quality pull bar and handle. It’s perfect for this type of solution!
The two smaller bags are both lightweight on their own.
One of them is this easy to remove bag that we put most of our electronics in. It's a smaller bag - still weighing in at 6-7kg as electronics are heavy - that we can simply unfold onto a tray at security quite easily. It also repacks just as quickly. If you have a lot of electronics, then just get 2 and pack them both into a simple cloth sack as your second bag.
The last one is this amazing baby bag, with a changing clutch for the kids, enough diapers and wipes for the travels, a few snacks for the kids, and a couple more electronics on the top that are easily removable at security (we have many electronics). It also weighs about 6-7kg.
As they are a total of 3 bags, we can weigh them all separately at check in and then combine them into the one luggage to roll around the airport.
Then, at security, easily disassemble it and reassemble after passing through. When we reassemble it, we put the extra electronics from the baby bag into the bag with the other electronics - as weight is no longer a concern.
It also allows us the ability to easily grab the baby bag after we board the airplane - without much fuss or rearranging while we are trying to sit down. Grab that bag and toss the fully assembled carry-on up above in the storage, grab the easily accessible airplane essentials if desired, and have a seat.
Now, it's a lot easier and we can continue traveling!
We had just arrived at Istanbul from Malaysia and were already seeing advertisements to return.
Other things to note
When choosing seats consider what will be best for YOUR family. Bassinet seats have more leg space, but the arm rests don’t raise.
Be flexible / Go with the flow. Your baby that can sleep anywhere, might not sleep on the airplane.
If you HAVE to take a long-haul flight, plan a rest day upon arrival in case you get no sleep during your travels.
FAQ’s
What are the best practices for dealing with jet lag in infants and toddlers after a flight?
Managing jet lag in young children involves gradually adjusting their sleep schedule before the trip to match the destination time zone. Once at the destination, encourage outdoor activities during daylight to reset their internal clock. Keep bedtime routines consistent and be patient; it may take several days for children to fully adjust.
Can you recommend any specific gear or items to make flying with young children easier?
Investing in comfortable, age-appropriate travel gear can make flying smoother. Items like a compact, FAA-approved car seat, a lightweight stroller, and noise-canceling headphones for toddlers can be very helpful. Also, consider bringing familiar items from home, such as blankets or toys, to provide comfort during the flight.
How do you handle food and snacks for an infant and a toddler during long flights?
For infants, bring enough formula, breast milk, or baby food for the flight duration and some extra for delays. For toddlers, pack a variety of healthy, non-perishable snacks that are low in sugar and carbs to prevent energy spikes. Always have water available to keep them hydrated, and don't forget to account for potential messes with extra wipes and bibs.
(1) Flying with an Infant and a Toddler - Tips and Tricks. https://eatwanderexplore.com/start-traveling-blog/flying-with-an-infant-and-a-toddler-tips-and-tricks
(2) Traveling Family - Pregnant, Infants, Toddlers, and Kids - REmotiFIRE .... https://eatwanderexplore.com/traveling-for-parents
(3) Flying With A Toddler Tips: EVERYTHING you need to know. https://www.flyingwithababy.com/tips-for-flying-with-a-toddler/
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